Which Democratic Presidential Candidate Would I Trust To Change My Tire?
19th October 2015
Jim Goad reveals all.
I believe that democracy is a sham designed to prevent the proles from rioting by fostering the illusion that politicians actually give a flip about whether voters live or die after they’ve voted for them. A president’s importance is sorely overrated. The Federal Reserve Chairman is who actually runs the country, so a president’s job is largely symbolic—their chief role is to fool voters into connecting with them emotionally, even if it’s behind a wall of trained killers from the Secret Service.
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I thought I was angry until I saw Bernie Sanders. He looks like the world’s bitterest Muppet and belches up the same old cliches about socialism that have failed everywhere except Scandinavia, where they will fail soon once those nations receive a sufficient diversity injection. He used the terms “the 1 percent” and “billionaires” at least one billion times and made some patently fraudulent and easily disproved claims about where the US stands compared to the rest of the world when it comes to wealth inequality. When asked whether black lives matter or all lives matter, he chose the blacks, even though his fanbase is almost entirely white. He even cited the Southern Poverty Law Center as a reliable source. Oy gevalt!