Why All the Nonsensical Trends? Blame ‘I dare you’
17th May 2014
Lileks scratches his head.
Perhaps you’ve heard of the new fad among Kids These Days, which is jumping into cold water. Goes by many names: the Polar Plunge, the Cold Water Challenge, the Frigid Folly, doesn’t matter. It’s simple: Kid goes into the water. Friend shoots a video of the event, because the point of doing anything these days is to do it for the camera, and then it’s posted online, because otherwise it didn’t happen.
It’s for charity, supposedly. Perhaps the American Association for Halting Hypothermia Health Hazards, or AAHHH, which is the sound you make when you jump into cold water.
…
Why is it popular? Because it’s all about the dare. They say it’s not, but that’s the heart of it. If you are dared, you must comply, or you are chicken, and this stays with you the rest of your life:
“Well, Ms. Horgensted, your résumé is most impressive, and your multilingual aptitude is just the sort of thing our international branches are looking for. I’d say you were a natural fit for our French office, but we’re looking for someone who can meet new challenges square in the face, and according to our NSA intercepts of your social media activity from 10 years ago, you declined to walk into cold water when taunted by a peer. I’m sorry, but we’re looking for a leader. Someone who jumps off a bridge, and everyone else follows.”
One thing I’ve always wondered about is the mystical power of the phrase ‘I dare you.’ (Sometimes the ante is upped by ‘I double-dog dare you’, which is really stupid when you think about it, which of course nobody ever does, except in bootless ruminations such as this one.) The classic measure of susceptibility to peer pressure, at any age, is what you will do in response to ‘I dare you’. Of course, the desired outcome is a successful doing, followed by an admiring ‘I can’t believe you actually did that.’ The key here is the admiring tone, which Makes All Worthwhile; the same phrase, uttered in a appalled tone, would rip off the facade of fashionability and reveal the cold hard truth that this was actually an incredibly stupid thing to do. But peer pressure has one of the lowest IQs on the block.
I suspect that my response to such a phrase these days would be ‘Why? Why is it so important to you that I do this (probably) very stupid thing?’ To which, of course, the dare-er has no ready response–other than, perhaps, ‘Well, that’s what we do.’
My theory is that it’s all about control. If I can persuade you to do a stupid thing merely by saying ‘I dare you’, then I exercise a degree of control over your actions. In this regard I think it is important to appreciate the context: We don’t accept dares from people whom we don’t respect, whose regard we do not value. Accepting a dare is a way of validating our membership in a particular social circle, sort of like voluntarily submitting to a humiliating fraternity initiation ritual. ‘I value membership in this group sufficiently to sacrifice my dignity and perhaps risk life and limb; please honor this sacrifice and welcome me into the group.’
Unfortunately, none of us realize this at twelve, when it would be most valuable. As my granny used to say, ‘We is too soon old, and too late smart.’