DYSPEPSIA GENERATION

We have seen the future, and it sucks.

Archive for the 'Is this a great country, or what?' Category

Gun Maker Thrives in SC, Issues Gun to Commemorate Move from CT

19th June 2014

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On January 20 Breitbart News reported PTR Industries was leaving Connecticut for the greener and more gun-friendly pastures of South Carolina. On June 18 Breitbart News sat down with PTR Industries vice president of sales and administration John McNamara, so he could update us on where his gun company–which builds roller-lock rifles–stands in relation to South Carolina and firearm production.

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Harry Reid Says He Won’t Attend Redskins Game Until Team Changes Name

17th June 2014

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Win-win!

(To the totalitarian mind, everything is political.)

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Sugar Daddy University: New Course Teaches ‘Sugar Babies’ How to Land a Wealthy Man

16th June 2014

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I am not making this up.

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HAPPY DANCE SUNDAY

15th June 2014

Monday Morning

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All It Took to Cure Baldness Was a Laser Beam, a Garage, and an Indiegogo Push

11th June 2014

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You know what’s still made in America? Laser spewing hair helmets.

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HAPPY DANCE SUNDAY

8th June 2014

The Longest Time

I, for one, miss the Fifties.

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Which English Do You Speak?

6th June 2014

Take the quiz.

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Colt Boosts Handgun Production 50 Percent to Meet Demand

2nd June 2014

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According to CNN Money, Colt sold “twelve times as many handguns early this year than it did in 2013.”

The impetus behind handgun popularity is a combination of self-defense concerns and concerns over the Obama administration’s penchant for gun control.

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HAPPY DANCE SUNDAY

1st June 2014

What If Your Girlfriend Was Gone

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How to Sharpen Pencils

31st May 2014

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You might know David Rees as the political cartoonist behind the series Get Your War On, among others. Well, he has set all that aside to pursue his lofty dreams as a preeminent craftsman in the little known field of artisanal pencil sharpening.His new book is titled How To Sharpen Pencils: A Practical & Theoretical Treatise on the Artisanal Craft of Pencil Sharpening for Writers, Artists, Contractors, Flange Turners, Anglesmiths, & Civil Servants. Read on for an illuminating excerpt from the book that will guide you through using a single-blade pocket sharpener. Time to sharpen up!

I am not making this up.

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Krispy Kreme Triple Cheeseburger Will Debut at San Diego County Fair

27th May 2014

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If you can open your mouth wide enough to inhale the three cheeseburger patties sandwiched between two glazed donut buns, then good luck to your heart.

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HAPPY DANCE SUNDAY

25th May 2014

Mandelbrot Set

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Y’allbonics

21st May 2014

The Bluebird of Bitterness reminds us of the importance of this vital piece of American culture.

HEIDI (noun) – Greeting.

HIRE YEW (verb and pronoun) – Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting. Usage: “Heidi! Hire yew?”

BARD (verb) – Past tense of the verb “to borrow.” Usage: “My brother bard my pickup truck.”

JAWJUH (noun) – The state north of Florida. Capitol is Lanner. Usage: “My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck and took it to Lanner.”

BAMMER (noun) – The state west of Jawjuh. Capitol is Berminhayam. Usage: “A tornader jes went through Bammer an’ left $20,000,000 in improvements.”

MUNTS (noun) – A calendar division. Usage: “My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain’t heard from him in munts.”

THANK (verb) – Cognitive process. Usage: “Ah thank ah’ll have a bare.”

BARE (noun) – An alcoholic beverage made of barley, hops, and yeast. Usage: “Ah thank ah’ll have another bare.”

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Fantastically Wrong: The Disturbing Reality That Spawned the Mythical Jackalope

18th May 2014

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The first “confirmed” jackalope specimen was secured by one Douglas Herrick, who in 1932 found a dead one sprawled in his shop in Douglas, Wyoming. If you want to get technical, though, it was an ordinary dead rabbit next to some deer horns on the floor. But Herrick mounted the rabbit, horns and all, thus begetting a slew of taxidermic jackalopes in bars all across the West.

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HAPPY DANCE SUNDAY

18th May 2014

I’m Into Something Good

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Company That Threatened to Sue Negative Reviewer Just Lost Its Amazon Account

14th May 2014

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Earlier this week, a man took to Reddit asking for legal advice, saying a law firm was threatening to sue him for writing a negative review about an Internet router.

The company that sold that router, New Jersey-based Mediabridge, through the law firm, claimed that the review contained several assertions that were “false, defamatory, libelous, and slanderous.” The reviewer claimed the company faked positive reviews and stole the design of their product from another company.

My, what a surprise! Aren’t you surprised? I’m sure surprised.

In the days after the law firm made its threat, the man who wrote the Amazon review has taken down his original review and his post on Reddit. But that’s not the end of this for the company.

Leaders at Mediabridge now say that Amazon has revoked the company’s seller account, preventing the sale of Mediabridge products on Amazon.com—the only site through which it currently sells its products. That might mean the loss of jobs for many of the company’s employees, the company claims.

Full disclosure: I own stock in Amazon. This is one of the reasons why: It’s not afraid to push back against lawfare from corporate bullies.

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The Week in Pictures: Graduation Edition

10th May 2014

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My favorite:

Monica copy

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Internal Memos Reveal EPA Worked Behind the Scenes to Kill Alaska Mine Project

7th May 2014

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Of course. They’re ‘progressives’, and the chief object of ‘progressives’ is to roll back the 20th century, not to mention the 21st.

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These Backpacks for Cows Collect Their Fart Gas and Store It for Energy

5th May 2014

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I am not making this up.

I got yer alternative energy, right here….

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Rappers Sorted by Size of Vocabulary

4th May 2014

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It is one of the most charming characteristics of this great country of ours that people bother with this sort of things.

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HAPPY DANCE SUNDAY

4th May 2014

Another Irish Drinking Song

I don’t care who you are, that’s funny.

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High School Student Accepted at all Eight Ivy League Schools Chooses Yale

2nd May 2014

Of course.

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Thoughts From the Ammo Line

2nd May 2014

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When we women were younger, we could convince ourselves that we could possibly fight our way out of trouble. We were undoubtedly grievously mistaken. Testosterone is just a terribly unfair advantage! But, once we hit 60, say, no matter how many Zumba classes we have attended, it becomes crystal clear that we are sitting ducks. And, make no mistake, thugs go for the easiest targets. Counting on a thug to say, “Oh, Jeez, I didn’t see your wheelchair, there, never mind,” is a pipe-dream. Ladies, forget your traditional friends, Ben and Jerry. Count on Mr. Smith, Mr. Wesson or their Austrian cousin, the super-reliable Mr. Glock.

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Armed Citizen Project

30th April 2014

Read it.

And listen to the radio. (Free shotguns to single moms.)

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With Prime Pantry, Amazon Offers Slow Grocery Delivery On The Cheap

27th April 2014

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A new offering from Amazon, called Prime Pantry, aims to alleviate some of this guilt. The service, which launched Wednesday, lets Prime members fill a large box with up to 45 pounds of household items (automatically calculating how much space is left in their box as they shop) and get it delivered for $5.99. Eligible items are available “in popular pack sizes that are cost prohibitive to ship for free,” meaning you can buy one box of Cheerios instead of 12. The program means that Amazon now carries a selection of groceries that are only available to Prime members. A non-Prime member can’t buy that one box of Cheerios or one can of tomatoes.

Full disclosure: I own stock in Amazon, and this sort of thing is why.

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HAPPY DANCE SUNDAY

27th April 2014

Mama Tried

I really don’t do enough country music for these. But I plan to fix that.

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A Small Creek Connects the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans

26th April 2014

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Reddit user wheatley_cereal has posted a factoid that we have no doubt is widely known among Mountain West residents, but of which the rest of the country is almost certainly unaware: It’s possible for a fish to swim directly from the Pacific to the Atlantic without having to dodge Panamax ships in the canal zone.

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Justice League Beer

23rd April 2014

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I am not making this up.

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Space Colony Art From the 1970s

20th April 2014

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I remember the days when we actually thought there would be space colonies. You know, before government decided to suck up all the money and use it to buy votes.

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Soylent Gets Tested, Scores a Surprisingly Wholesome Nutritional Label

19th April 2014

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In its shipping form, a three-serving bag of Soylent clocks in at 2,010 kcal, with 630 kcal from fat—that’s with the combined package of canola and fish oil added into the mix. Altogether, a full day’s worth of Soylent 1.0 will give you 1,050 mg of sodium, 3,465 mg of potassium, 252 total grams of carbs (including 24 g dietary fiber and 6 g of sugars), and 114 g of protein. There’s no cholesterol in the dry ingredients; the oil mix adds about 15 percent of your daily recommended cholesterol intake (specific numbers on the oil aren’t included as part of the label).

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KFC Bringing Back the Double Down

18th April 2014

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“It includes bacon, Monterey Jack cheese and Colonel’s sauce sandwiched between two 100 percent white meat Original Recipe filets,” said Maynard.

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Domino’s to Make Pizza with Fried Chicken Crust

15th April 2014

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Yeah, but it’s still Domino’s pizza….

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KFC Chicken Corsage Being Sold Just in Time for Prom Season

15th April 2014

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Be the first on your block….

Hm. I’m really hankering for some extra-crispy — time to go visit the Colonel.

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New Age Bullshit Generator

15th April 2014

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Namaste. Do you want to sell a New Age product and/or service? Tired of coming up with meaningless copy for your starry-eyed customers? Want to join the ranks of bestselling self-help authors? We can help.

Don’t say we never have useful stuff here.

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MIT Creates Shapeshifting Furniture That Can Transform With a Gesture

13th April 2014

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If, of course, that’s what you want to do.

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LEGO is Coming: Game-of-Thrones Inspired Minifigs

13th April 2014

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‘If you nail together two things that have never been nailed together before, some schmuck will buy it.’ — George Carlin

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PackPoint Makes Packing as Simple and Easy as Possible

13th April 2014

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‘Whatever happened to personal responsibility and planning for the future?’

‘There’s an app for that….’

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HAPPY DANCE SUNDAY

13th April 2014

High School Dance

Yeah, I like Disco. Deal with it.

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The Week in Pictures

12th April 2014

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My favorite:

Golf Digest Parody copy

Runner-up:

Rude Bikers copy

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Us Universities Bracing for Surge of Vets Heading to College as Military Downsizes, Wars Abate

8th April 2014

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Tens of thousands of new veterans are expected to return to college or the workforce in the next several years as the military downsizes after wars in Iraq and Afghanistan and as the Pentagon budget is pared back.

Oh, those lefty professors are in for a shock….

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Navy Testing Revolutionary Remote-Controlled Choppers, Rail Gun

8th April 2014

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The U.S. Naval Research unit, led by Rear Adm. Matt Klunder, already is in the process of developing an unmanned helicopter that can be navigated by iPad. And that’s just one way the unit is researching ways to revolutionize how the U.S. military fights, and saves lives.

“It will be able to deliver critical mission supplies, life-saving supplies. It could even be in our civilian sector used by first responders,” Klunder said of the chopper project.

The U.S. Navy has successfully tested the unmanned chopper, part of a five-year, $100 million program. “For the first time we could put a system, about 60 pounds, on any helicopter, manned or unmanned. With a touch of one button on my handheld, I can direct that helicopter to an unprepared landing site.”

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John Galt Writes a Car Commercial

6th April 2014

Read it. And by all means watch the video.

While I continue frankly have no particular taste for commercial advertisements, particularly for foolish products like electric cars (they run on electricity generated at powerplants by burning diesel fuel, hence serve no purpose), I admit it is refreshing to see one which pretends, if only for a moment of make-believe, that ours is the America we once had in the 1950s and which has since been abandoned.

I personally enjoy the delicious irony of using such a no-doubt-funded-by-the-Koch-brothers ad for an electric car.

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Smarter Than a CIA Agent

5th April 2014

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For the past three years, Rich and 3,000 other average people have been quietly making probability estimates about everything from Venezuelan gas subsidies to North Korean politics as part of an experiment put together by three well-known psychologists and some people inside the intelligence community.

According to one report, the predictions made by the Good Judgment Project are often better even than intelligence analysts with access to classified information, and many of the people involved in the project have been astonished by its success at making accurate predictions.

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Happy Birthday to a Great American

5th April 2014

Booker T Washington

Booker T. Washington was born on this day in 1856, the illegitimate son of a black slave and a white plantation owner. Following emancipation, he worked his way through school, eventually becoming a teacher. In 1881, at the age of 25, he helped to found the Tuskegee Institute in Alabama, a college for training black teachers.

Washington devoted his life to improving the lives of black Americans through education and vocational training, with a strong emphasis on teaching the life skills they would need to gain social acceptance, overcome white racism, and lead productive lives. He was often criticized by other black civil rights leaders of his time who found his style too understated and insufficiently confrontational. Washington’s formula for success for black Americans — education, thrift, and hard work — is what many black kids nowadays dismiss as “acting white.”

Read Up From Slavery. Best money you will ever spend.

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Missouri Gun Company to Sell ‘New York-Compliant’ AR-15 Rifle

5th April 2014

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A Missouri gun manufacturer says it plans to release a “New York Compliant” AR-15 rifle in response to tough gun control measure passed by New York lawmakers last year banning the sale of assault weapons in the state.

The company, Black Rain Ordnance, said the rifle would eliminate features that were made illegal under the SAFE Act. The gun will not have a pistol grip and will include a non-threaded muzzle and a 10-round low-capacity approved magazine.

Now that’s comedy.

The law bans the sale of some semi-automatic firearms and requires those who already own one to register them by April 15. It also bans high-capacity magazines, requires federal background checks on private gun sales and imposes felony penalties for illegal gun possession.

And we all know how well such laws, like the Sullivan Act, have made living in New York City safer since 1911.

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Stunning Desk Clock Is Inspired By Deep Space Nine

2nd April 2014

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When you’re  a nerd / You’re a nerd all the way….

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The Idiot’s Guide to Smart People

30th March 2014

Watch it.

I don’t care who you are, that’s funny.

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Thoughts From the Ammo Line

30th March 2014

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A few years ago, I moved from a blue to a red planet. No, wait, I moved from Minnesota to Arizona, but my point still stands. A metric ton of tedious lip service is paid to the concept of “diversity” in Minnesota (motto: “It’s Not Just the Landscape that Is Lily White!”)

My dusty little village in Arizona is the most diverse place I have ever lived. There’s obviously so much intermarriage that people no longer fit neatly into Census Bureau boxes. But, you’ve got your Native-Americans; you’ve got your African-Americans; you’ve got your Latinos, many of them legal; and you’ve got your Geezer-Americans, retirees of every hue and creed, dumping their Social Security checks into the slot machines and supporting the Native-Americans in a beautiful Circle of Life.

Everybody gets along. Everybody eats at the same three local diners. Everybody is polite. Everybody is smiley and friendly, even teenagers! Why?

Because everybody is armed to the teeth – cowboys, geezers, Iraqi vets, tattooed Latinos, nuns.

You see ranchers ambling through Walmart with .45 caliber 1911s on their hips in glorious Open Carry and nobody even bats an eyelash. In Minnesota, someone would dive under the Size 4XL Clearance Rack and call SWAT. In Arizona, you say “Good morning,” and the cowboy tips his Stetson and says, “Ma’am.”

That’s because they all share a common culture, i.e. Normal American. Try that in Neuww Yahk and some gangbanger from Bed-Stey would blow you away for ‘dissin’ him.

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U.S. States Most and Least Likely to Survive the Zombie Apocalypse

30th March 2014

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Don’t say we never have useful stuff here.

(Movin’ to Montana soon … gonna be a dental floss tycoon….)

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Massive Corn Dog Spill Shuts Down Interstate In Louisiana

27th March 2014

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“There were some reports that passerby were coming in and loading up on some of those corn dogs for dinner,” Shreveport Police Corporal Marcus Hines said. “Everything you need to make a good corn dog was in the middle of the road.”

America, Land of Opportunity.

It doesn’t say whether they were my wife’s favorite, State Fair Corn Dogs.

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