DYSPEPSIA GENERATION

We have seen the future, and it sucks.

Coroner Mystified by Death of British Spy in Bag

2nd May 2012

Read it.

It is unlikely that the death of a British spy found at his home in 2010 — his naked body padlocked inside a large red carrying bag stowed in the bathtub — will ever be satisfactorily explained, coroner Fiona Wilcox said Wednesday.

I suspect Jason Bourne.

There was a key to the bag in which he was found inside it with him, and there were others in his apartment, Wilcox said.

There was no sign of a break-in or robbery in his neat, tidy apartment, she said Wednesday. She described his body as “peaceful” and said there was no indication of a struggle.

Definitely Jason Bourne.

2 Responses to “Coroner Mystified by Death of British Spy in Bag”

  1. Dennis Nagle Says:

    What? Can’t find a credible way to pin it on Muslim Jihadists? You must be slipping.

  2. RealRick Says:

    Somebody went to a lot of trouble to cover their tracks but still make sure everybody knew he’d been murdered. Jihadis tend towards things like strapping bombs on retarded girls. They match wits with the TSA. This one is not their style.