DYSPEPSIA GENERATION

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Blue State Blues: Ritzy DC Neighborhood Sees Yet More Crime

28th March 2024

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A studio apartment at the upscale Illume apartments in DC’s Navy Yard neighborhood currently rents for $1,747 a month. The complex boasts rooftop pools, “luxe quartz countertops with modern tile backsplashes” and the chance to “pamper your pup at Luna’s pet spa.” Not mentioned on its sleekly designed website: “escaping gunmen running through the courtyard.”

“We have been informed by the police that there is an armed suspect in the area,” the building emailed residents Tuesday afternoon. “We strongly advise all residents to stay inside their home with the door locked until further notice.”

A statement from the Capitol Police said, “Our patrol officers spotted a vehicle that was connected to a previous shooting that occurred in MPD’s 2nd District. The people, who were near the car, ran into an apartment complex.”

A SWAT team arrived on the scene. Footage from residents shows a young African-American man in a light-colored hoodie running through the courtyard after passing through a fob-accessed door.

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