DYSPEPSIA GENERATION

We have seen the future, and it sucks.

I Want My Cheese

15th February 2013

Scott Adams lets it all hang out.

When I walk into the store, and realize I didn’t bring my reusable bags, I feel like an absent-minded moron. This is how I usually feel during the day, so it’s no big deal.

Then I start looking for cheese, only to discover that some genius in Safeway’s marketing department thinks that cheese should be spread out over about seven different locations throughout the store. You have your cottage cheese here, your artisanal cheeses there, your shredded cheeses somewhere else, and so on. There is no logical order to any of it. Five minutes into my shopping, I am filled with rage and I feel manipulated. I assume someone at Safeway decided that inconveniencing me would somehow make me buy more shit because I end up walking down every frickin’ aisle in the store looking for my cheese. It’s not the inconvenience that bugs me so much as the feeling of manipulation.

For a certifiable beta male such as Scott Adams to give vent in such an assertive way indicates a serious situation indeed.

But it’s actually about plastic bags. Trust me.

By the time I reach my car I feel frustrated, angry, guilty, stupid, incompetent, belittled, weak, humiliated, ripped off, and inconvenienced. The feeling lasts until I get home and my wife says, “That’s the wrong cheese.” That feeling pretty much replaces all the other ones.

Life on the Left Coast. This is Obama’s plan for America. Get ready for it.

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