We have seen the future, and it sucks.

Top 10 Trophy Wives

29th November 2012

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I’ve never really understood denominating the acquisition of an appendage the chief function of which is to spend your money as a ‘trophy’. This resembles calling a bleeding ulcer a ‘gastronomical achievement’.

Originally, a trophy was the pile of arms & armor of defeated foes left on the battlefield in a ginormous ‘Nyah nyah!’ Unless you marry the widow of your chief enemy whom you have just ground Conan-like into the dirt, it’s not really (technically speaking) a trophy wife; you’ve merely hooked up with an expensive sex toy that comes complete with a complete set of lawyers. How is this an achievement? I see this vision of a champion runner tripping and falling on his face just after crossing the finish line … not very edifying.

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