DYSPEPSIA GENERATION

We have seen the future, and it sucks.

How Bimbos Saved the American Republic

10th November 2012

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The retreat of prominent families from civic life is a complicated story, but let me suggest one critical but often neglected explanation: the salutary role of bimbos (also known as tarts, floozies, vamps, and more recently, Natashas). In a nutshell, as these gorgeous and typically empty-headed women marry into rich families, the family’s genetic stock declines. With this decline, public careers for offspring slip beyond reach. Yes, the descendants of John Jacob Astor or Commodore Vanderbilt still enjoy money and power, but this is not power over the public realm. The Republic has been saved.

An interesting hypothesis.

The gossip pages regularly tell this story. The physically nondescript founder and his dowdy wife raise some “solid” children who continue the family fortune. Junior’s wife is, however, far more valuable as a sexy knockout than as breeding stock. Their children grow up in a world of catered indulgences from attentive nannies and possess all the self-control of a lifelong welfare recipient hitting the big jackpot lottery. These progeny are often plagued by school problems, alcohol and drug abuse, legal scraps, and difficulties in holding even no-show, no-work jobs. Their calamities support a well-paid army of fixers and advisors euphemistically called “longtime friends of the family” whose job it is to avert attention-getting disaster and shield the family’s name.

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