We have seen the future, and it sucks.

The Gayest Study Ever

9th September 2012

Read it.

A recent study from the University of Michigan finds that the ever-popular youth expression “that’s so gay” is actually harmful to gay, lesbian, and bisexual students.

That’s right – leaves them bleeding on the floor, unable to breathe, and barely capable of being taken to the nearest Emergency Room.

Head researcher Michael Woodford says that the phrase “you’re so gay” is subtly hostile because it suggests “that there is something wrong with being gay.”

Imagine that. Cue Seinfeld.

Woodford isn’t clear about how exactly one might go about “eliminating” a slang expression from common usage. Fines? Public flogging? Plainclothes Speech Police handing out tickets whenever they hear somebody call a pair of shoes “gay”? It would be a daunting task for the enforcers of correct speech.

The Thought Police are never clear about how to ‘fix’ the ‘problems’ that they identify in their scramble for tenure.

Somebody should tell the people behind the University of Michigan study that being totalitarian, self-righteous, and priggish about language is, all things considered, pretty gay. That’s electric-cars, parents-chaperoning-the-dance gay, assuming they can even understand the difference.

Uh, don’t hold your breath….

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