We have seen the future, and it sucks.

Spare Us From the Wrath of the Trick-Or-Treaters

29th October 2011

Read it.

Nothing more embarrassing than a little fellow shouting through your letterbox: ‘We know you’re in there!’

For which, of course, the appropriate answer is one of these.

(Yes, I am an asshole. Nice of you to notice.)

One Response to “Spare Us From the Wrath of the Trick-Or-Treaters”

  1. RealRick Says:

    Kids today are much more tame than when I was young. They’ve all got their helicopter parents escorting them though the neighborhood and the chance of one doing real “tricks” is negligible. They don’t know that paraffin is harder to get off windows than soap, for example.

    Couple years ago, I had a sort of scarecrow on my front porch for the week leading up to Halloween. On Halloween, I put on the clothes and mask and sat in the chair where the scarecrow had been. Late in the evening, the usual jr. high smart-ass kids show up – too “old” for costumes but demanding candy and trashing anything they can along the way. Seven of them came on the porch and one was making remarks about the “scarecrow” as the others laughed. Then I jumped up and ran towards them. Hilarious! They screamed like little girls and ran in every direction, tripping over bushes and running into trees!

    Lessons learned: 1) You can still enjoy Halloween at any age. 2) Scaring the crap out of smart-ass kids is immensely satisfying. 3) Kids, don’t f*** with old people.