DYSPEPSIA GENERATION

We have seen the future, and it sucks.

Bunky Mortimer’s Guide to Classical Music

13th February 2018

Read it.

Your musical day should start with works written closest to our own time, then work backward. The reason is simple. Nineteenth-century music is filled with the forward momentum necessary for the mornings; whereas early music—similar to jazz—is based on an interplay of harmonies, giving it the astral quality needed for late-night contemplation. The reason for this is also simple. Early compositions sought to mirror divine relationships—the Music of the Spheres—with a view to serving the listener in the matter of worship or dancing. Later compositions tend to mirror the busy minds of their creators, with which the hapless listener must keep pace. As a result, they are temporal, not eternal. This is as true of the works of musical nationalism as it is of “La donna è mobile”; whereas the nonlinear relationships within early music mean its possibilities are open, infinite—and, in my book, nocturnal.

Okay, let’s go with that. Here’s your wakeup. Follow it with anything you like, because it’s all downhill from there.

The last thing you hear before hitting the sack ought to be this.

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