We have seen the future, and it sucks.

How Video Doorbells Help Us Make Nicer Lies

6th August 2017


Because I’m always eager to fill up the yawning void of existential dread with a new gadget, I got one of those video doorbells. The picture is crisp and clear. My doorbell broadcasts a better image than CBS circa 2001. At night it shows stars; it’s like I bolted the Hubble to my house.

I can’t wait to use it with a visitor, but no one’s shown up yet. For once in my life, I actually want someone coming around the house to sell me magazines so I can get rid of them remotely, from my phone, wherever I am.

I, too, purchased such a doorbell. I am looking forward to using it to castigate anyone so unfortunate as to land on my doorstep without bearing a box from Amazon.

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