DYSPEPSIA GENERATION

We have seen the future, and it sucks.

A Terrorist Attack in Roanoke

24th August 2016

Read it.

A man in Roanoke County is in custody after attacking a couple in an apartment complex. The man, Wasil Farooqui, slashed the victims with a knife while allegedly shouting “Allahu Akbar.” The couple doesn’t know Farooqui. Apparently he selected them at random to be attacked.

The male victim has neck wounds, but the police says this doesn’t look like an attempted beheading. The victim apparently has wounds all over his body.

Rumors that the victim had ‘Croatoan’ carved on his body in Arabic are probably unfounded.

An FBI special agent is on the scene now. He assures the community that the FBI is “working to determine the nature of the incident.”

Yeah, that sounds like a real head-scratcher. What could his motive possibly be? It’s all so puzzling.

Maybe Obama knows. Or maybe not.

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