Punking the Haters
28th July 2016
David Cole is having more fun than a human being should be allowed to have.
In a normal election year, it would be big news: one of the largest and most influential newspapers in the U.S. fooled by a small cadre of internet trolls into publishing a completely false piece about a GOP presidential candidate. In a normal election year, a story like that would dominate the conservative news cycle for several days at least. Raging Glenn Beck types would demand that the editors explain the reason for the complete abandonment of journalistic ethics that led to the massive error, and there would probably be calls for the reporter responsible for the piece to be fired.
Hell, in a normal election year, a story like that might even seep into the mainstream news cycle, with “media critics” wailing like Björk over the decline of newsroom standards and practices.
But this isn’t a normal election year, as if anyone needs me to point that out.
Well, some people appear to need reminding from time to time.
Speaking of that, who is this intrepid sleuth wearing the fedora with an index card saying “press” neatly tucked into the fabric band? Why, it’s none other than ace millennial newshound Caitlin Dewey. Dewey is The Washington Post’s “digital culture critic.” She earned her bones as a star reporter through years of hard work—tiring nights walking a beat, pursuing leads that often went cold, uncovering graft and corruption at the highest levels of society. Just kidding; she won an essay contest sponsored by The New York Times in which college students were asked to describe their last breakup.
Wow. Here’s your replacement for the SATs. (And I’m sure she pronounces it ‘Kate-Lynn’ rather than the correct Irish ‘Kaht-leen’.)
Regarding U.S. presidential elections, what if everything we know is wrong? What if someone did everything the “wrong” way, and what if that person still won? If Trump wins, the rules will never again be respected as they were. An entire class of political hacks will lose their jobs, fatally exposed as naked emperors. So I don’t want Trump to start doing things the “right” way, or to become “presidential,” or coherent, or “kind and gentle,” or toned down, or “friendlier.” I want him to continue tweeting idiotic memes while pissing on the idea of creating a functioning ground game in swing states. I want him to continue to make funny faces, and to sling childish insults, and to say in an insulting way something that a more “serious” candidate would sugarcoat for wider acceptance. I want the son of a bitch to act as unpresidential as humanly possible. I want The Washington Post and every other “paper of record” to keep attacking him, and I want the conservative establishment to join in.
Pass the popcorn.