We have seen the future, and it sucks.

Let’s Put Gaia on a “Wanted” Poster

30th July 2008

The Hog tackles the environment, and throws it for a loss.

People used to die from the flu, by the millions. And the bird flu scare reminded us that it can happen again. Now that I think about it, millions of people have died from malaria, which is preventable, because we haven’t used DDT responsibly. It’s funny; the hippies call the earth–an inanimate object–“Gaia,” and they claim it’s our mother, and that it wants to take care of us. The truth is that the earth has been working hard to kill us since the dawn of time, and it succeeds in numbers that would make Hitler and Stalin and Mao weep with admiration. Does your mother want you dead? Mine never did. I’d like to hear Gaia’s loving explanation for Katrina or the Dust Bowl or locusts or cretinism. And how about radon? The earth doesn’t love us, and it doesn’t take care of us. The earth is our enemy, and we continue to exist because we made it our slave. We survive because we fight the earth every day.

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