DYSPEPSIA GENERATION

We have seen the future, and it sucks.

Archive for the 'Is this a great country, or what?' Category

You Know You Want One

11th December 2017

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Tactical Christmas Stocking

6th December 2017

Check it out.

That guy sliding down your chimney is an intruder breaking your perimeter, and will be dealt with accordingly.

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Celebrity Perv Apology Generator

2nd December 2017

Check it out.

We have the technology.

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More Things That Exist: Millennium Falcon Multi-Tool

1st December 2017

Read it.

I am not making this up.

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Thought for the Day

30th November 2017

Posted in Is this a great country, or what? | 1 Comment »

It’s a Living: Meet One of New York’s Best Professional D&D Dungeon Masters

22nd November 2017

Read it.

I didn’t even know that was a option. Drat.

He’d better put an arming cap under that coif or he’s going to have some nasty bruises.

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DipClips Will Make It Safer for You to Drive and Dip McNuggies

22nd November 2017

Read it.

I am not making this up.

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Scott Adams Tells You Why President Trump Should Forgive Kathy Griffin for Thanksgiving

19th November 2017

Watch it.

Scott Adams is a national treasure.

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New York Bakery Invents Cheetos Macarons

13th November 2017

Read it.

I am not making this up.

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Happy 242nd Birthday Marines

11th November 2017

I almost joined the Marines once. Fortunately, they wouldn’t have me.

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Animoji Karaoke

10th November 2017

Check it out.

I am not making this up.

The End Times are clearly here.

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Tied Together: Ivy Guys, Vassar Girls, and the College Scarf

6th November 2017

Read it.

Back in the heyday of the Ivy League Look, when a boy was going steady he’d remove the locker loop on the back of his oxford-cloth buttondown, signalling to other females that he was spoken for.

And how did a female student signal she was taken? By wearing her boyfriend’s college scarf. The practice was especially popular at the two schools that most set the style in campus fashion: Princeton and Vassar.

The illustration does indeed feature a Princeton scarf, presumably on a Vassar girl.

Sometimes the old ways are best.

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Give You Pumpkins a Little Extra Bite With Fake Fangs

28th October 2017

Read it.

You knew it had to happen.

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Krispy Kreme Flavored Jelly Beans Are Probably Not for the Health Conscious

25th October 2017

Read it.

But the health-conscious are a bunch of wusses anyway.

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All Edge Brownie Pan

13th October 2017

Check it out.

I am not making this up.

Posted in Is this a great country, or what? | 1 Comment »

Alex Collins Is an Irish Dancer, and Here’s the Video to Prove It

13th October 2017

Watch it.

What — you never heard of the Black Irish?

(He still dances like a football player….)

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United Order of Tents, a Semi-Covert Organization of Black Women

8th October 2017

Read it.

Who knew there was such a thing?

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Jacquard by Google

25th September 2017

Read it.

Specifically tailored with the urban cyclist in mind, the Levi’s Commuter Trucker Jacket was designed for getting around the city. The jacket features articulated shoulders to provide extra room to maneuver, reflectors, and a dropped hem to keep you covered as you ride. You can easily access your digital world because Jacquard technology is woven right into the sleeve.

Tiny electronics contained in the flexible snap tag connect the Jacquard Threads in the jacket’s cuff to your mobile device. The snap tag lets you know about incoming information, like a phone call, by giving you light and haptic feedback. Inspired by a strap that you would see on a cuff, it looks and feels like it’s a part of the jacket. The tag also houses the battery which can last up to 2 weeks between USB charges.

We have the technology.

Update: Google and Levi’s first smart jacket is a wash  Oops.

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Villanueva’s Jersey Becomes Bestselling NFL Gear as Football Fans Rally Around Him

25th September 2017

Read it.

Imagine that.

Hopefully he gets a piece of the action.

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Poll: Kid Rock Leads GOP Field in Michigan Senate Race

22nd September 2017

Read it.

Popular musician Robert Ritchie, also known as “Kid Rock,” is leading the GOP’s U.S. Senate race in Michigan, according to a poll released Friday.

The poll reportedly showed Ritchie leading other candidates in the Republican primary. This poll comes as Ritchie continues hinting at officially announcing his Senate bid against Michigan Democratic Sen. Debbie Stabenow, but has yet to do so.

Ritchie has more support in the Republican primary than every other candidate combined, with a 29 percent lead over the potential candidates, according to the poll. Pollsters also said that Ritchie looks strong among supporters of Trump.

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Aaaarrrrrrr….

19th September 2017

You know what day it is.

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Uncommon Knowledge: How to Fail at Almost Everything with Scott Adams

15th September 2017

Check it out.

In addition to being a person of great common sense, Scott Adams is a very original thinker and loves to turn the world upside down just to see what will fall out.

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Thousands Ride Out Storm in Style on Luxury Cruise Ship

11th September 2017

Read it.

We have the technology.

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Attractive People May or May Not Be Better Lawyers, But They Do Get Paid More

9th September 2017

Read it.

And rightly so.

I should get paid more than my ugly brother, and this has proven to be the case.

Of course, I’m a lawyer and he’s not, so this example is not ‘on all fours’ (as we lawyers say), but the underlying principle is still the same.

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Only in Texas Does the National Guard Get Bailed Out by a Bunch of Rednecks With Lifted Trucks

2nd September 2017

Watch it.

We have the technology.

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Proles to the Rescue

30th August 2017

Lion of the Blogosphere lays down some inconvenient truth.

If you want to be rescued from a flood, it’s a lot better to have prole Texans for neighbors than lesbian college professors from San Francisco.

I am pretty sure that the volunteer rescuers are primarily Trump voters.

As am I.

Posted in Is this a great country, or what? | 2 Comments »

PetChatz is a Videophone for Keeping in Touch With Pets

29th August 2017

Read it.

I am not making this up.

I suppose it would work for relatives, too. I’ve often wished I could dispense little treats with the touch of a button.

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Apple Accepting Donations for Hurricane Harvey Relief Efforts

27th August 2017

Give generously.

Hopefully none of your money will find its way to the SPLC.

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Apostles of Comedy

21st August 2017

With thanks to Bluebird of Bitterness, who turned me on to these guys.

My favorite is Anthony Griffith.

Posted in Is this a great country, or what? | 2 Comments »

Galaxy Magazine

11th August 2017

Check it out.

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Tebow Homers for Ailing Boy, Wins Over Previously Skeptical Media

10th August 2017

Read it.

A few games ago, Tebow was waiting for his turn at bat when Seth Bosch, a 10-year-old boy with a tumor behind his right eye, walked down to the edge of the stands to see his hero close up. Tebow came over to shake hands, the youngster was overcome with emotion and went crying back to his family.

Like Babe Ruth, who was known for visiting for sick children in the hospital and then swatting home runs for them, Tebow soon blasted a pitch out of the ball park. The blast electrified the stadium in St. Lucie, Fla.

Ya gotta have heart.

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POLL: How Are You Commemorating National Lazy Day?

10th August 2017

Check it out.

I’m on it.

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An Illustrated Book of Bad Arguments

30th July 2017

Buy it.

Highly recommended.

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Domino’s Partners With Amazon to Enable Voice-Control Pizza Orders

25th July 2017

Read it.

I predict that this will end badly.

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It Looks Official — Kid Rock Is Running for Senate in 2018

17th July 2017

Read it.

“I Believe if you work your butt off and pay your taxes, you should be able to easily understand and navigate the laws, tax codes, health care and anything else the government puts in place that affects us all,” Rock said in the attached image on the tweet.

So I guess he’s a Republican.

I’d vote for him. (Against Stabenow? I’d vote for a rock.)

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McDonald’s to Launch Cheese and Bacon Fries in US

12th July 2017

Read it.

The ‘Loaded Bacon & Cheese Basket of Fries’ will do what it says on the tin, giving the chain’s famous french fries a gluttonous makeover by drenching them in cheese sauce and bacon.

Only $3.99. Me want.

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Scott Adams and Tucker Carlson re Trump

12th July 2017

Read it. And watch the video.

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The Big Mac Comeback: How McDonald’s Is Making Fast Food Great Again

6th July 2017

Read it.

The company announced plans to roll out automated kiosks and mobile pay options at all of its U.S. locations in late 2016. Roughly 500 restaurants in Florida, New York and California now have the automated ordering stations, and restaurants in Chicago, Boston, San Francisco, Seattle and Washington, D.C., will be outfitted in 2017, according to CNNMoney.

Customers place their order at touch screens and receive a number with a “digital locator,” which then notifies staff to where the customer is sitting. Once the order is ready to serve, an employee delivers the food to the customer’s table.

What a great idea! This entirely eliminates the need for any McDonalds employee to be even minimally competent in speaking or understanding English. Let’s open the borders!

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Thought for the Day

3rd July 2017

Posted in Is this a great country, or what? | 1 Comment »

Orrin Hatch Mocks PETA By Sending Them Pictures Of Bacon

29th June 2017

Read it.

Republican Sen. Orrin Hatch of Utah tweeted pictures of bacon to PETA Thursday in response to a message the animal rights group sent challenging bacon-eaters to defend their dietary choices.

Posted in Is this a great country, or what? | 1 Comment »

Fitzgerald Crew’s ‘Heroic Efforts’ Saved Their Ship From Sinking, Admiral Says

18th June 2017

Read it.

An astonishing effort.

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PillPack

17th June 2017

Read it.

PillPack is trying to solve the problem of drug adherence by simplifying your medicine cabinet. Medication arrives in the mail presorted into clear plastic packets, each marked in a large font with vital information: day, time, pills inside, dosages. These are ordered chronologically in a roll that slots into the dispenser. Let’s say you need to take four different pills in the morning and two others in the afternoon every day: Those pills would be sorted into two tear-off packets: one marked 8am, followed immediately by the 2pm packet.

A great idea. The only question is how this squares with people’s insurance plans.

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Rent-A-Minority

17th June 2017

Check it out.

Rent-A-Minority is a revolutionary new service designed for those oh-shit moments where you’ve realized your award show, corporate brochure, conference panel is entirely composed of white men. For, like, the fifth year in a row. Suddenly you’re being called out on Twitter and you need to look not-racist and not-misogynist fast. Actually doing something meaningful to disrupt institutional inequality would be way too much work; so why not just Rent-A-Minority instead?

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Grocery Stores: An American Miracle

11th June 2017

Interview with Michael Ruhlman, whose books you need to read (he’s one of my Recommended Writers).

Grocery encompasses more than sales data, though. It is also a study of grocery stores’ business model, a memoir (Ruhlman writes at length about his father’s love for browsing supermarket aisles), and a history of how modern-day grocery stores came to be. Ruhlman plots their development from the late 1800s, when they stocked about 200 products, to today, when they typically have more than 40,000 items. During that span of time, the grocery store has swallowed up a series of small businesses that people used to shop at one at a time—bakeries, butcher stores, delis, liquor stores, florists—and put them under one roof.

It’s up to us to know the difference between what’s good and what’s bad, and I think that’s fine. But Marion Nestle, the NYU professor and nutritionist, would disagree, saying that the onus should not be on the consumer, because food is so important and we’re up against a $17 billion marketing campaign by the major food manufacturers.

That’s because she’s a statist totalitarian.

But to me, the onus is on us. We can’t rely on anybody else to do it for us; we need to think for ourselves.

Spoken like a true American.

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‘Crowds on Demand’ Provides Clients With Fake Protesters

5th June 2017

Read it.

If you’re looking to stage a march or rally and need fake protesters to legitimize your cause, a company now exists solely to provide you with as many actors as you require.

Crowds on Demand provides its clients with people who will form protests, flash mobs, rallies, paparazzi events and other inventive stunts. The company serves every major U.S city, metro area and small city, and executes clients’ specific plans or provides strategies for more general plans.

“We can organize rallies and get media attention for your causes and candidates,” the Crowds on Demand website claims. “We also assist individuals, companies and political organizations with protests and picketing campaigns. We’ve protested governments, corporations and everything in between.”

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Bernie Sanders Made Nearly a Million on His Book, Financial Disclosures Show

5th June 2017

Read it.

Which he immediately donated to the Federal government, I assume. Oh, wait….

Sometimes it is good to be the socialist, at least when there are other socialists willing to give you money.

Feel the Bern!

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Diners, the Original Prefab Success Story

30th May 2017

Read it.

By definition, diners are everyday and utilitarian, the no-frills, functional restaurant where nearly everyone can afford a meal. For decades, pulling up a seat or a stool and ordering a cup of coffee at these supremely democratic spaces has been a staple of the American diet, as well as the country’s pop culture.

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Pissed-off Artist Adds Statue of Urinating Dog Next to ‘Fearless Girl’

30th May 2017

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City sculptor Alex Gardega — seething over the “Fearless Girl” statue being placed across from Wall Street’s “Charging Bull” — has decided to retaliate with a work of his own.

Gardega created a statue of a small dog, titled “Pissing Pug,” and his sloppily crafted pooch takes direct aim at “Fearless Girl” — or, at least, at her left leg.

“This is corporate nonsense,” Gardega told The Post of “Fearless Girl,” saying it was put opposite artist Arturo Di Modica’s famed bull as a publicity stunt by a Boston-based financial firm.

Now that’s comedy.

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Quotation of the Year.

28th May 2017

Read it.

“What keeps you awake at night?” CBS “Face the Nation” host John Dickerson asked Mattis.

“Nothing,” a stonefaced Mattis responded. “I keep other people awake at night.”

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RIP Greg Allman

27th May 2017

I’m No Angel

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